This is it, this is how it ends. The journey into certain old age has surely begun.

Not only do the knees protest loudly with each step, the eyesight is starting to fail miserably, and the hearing isn’t exactly up to scratch either. Nature now provides natural high-lights, and fun games are all the rage now – the favourite apparently is ‘guess what you came into this room for’.

Back in the day a good looking young lad could raise the blood pressure…..and while they still might, its more due to the fear that will they be blaring music all night. Young ones wear far too much make up and skirts were never that short – were they? Turn down that music and put some clothes on will ya!!

Go out at 11? Are you mad – sure that’s bed time! And you’re now getting up to avail of the facilities at the time you used to be getting home at. You can’t listen to live bands in a pub – sure that’s mostly noise these days anyway. And on the occasions where you are not too tired to venture out, you need about a week to recover….and that’s from the quite nights!!

There’s a whole new language as well and you don’t mind admitting that you are a bit lost with it all – things are no longer ‘cool’, they’re ‘sick’ and now ‘dope’ means ‘cool’ – huh???? Do us old fogies need to go back to school and learn this new language???

Back in the day your favourite seat was usually in the local – these days it’s the recliner in your sitting room. You can’t pass a bathroom – that would be a waste of a good opportunity. People no longer try to guess your age – you are now the subject of respect rather than a slagging off. People apologise when they swear in your company and young (very young – are they even old enough to work??) sales assistants call you ma’am or sir….You can’t tell the difference between a leaving cert student and a teacher anymore, you swear that doctor is only 12 and that guard is just playing dress up!

For the most part you feel you are getting older and wider instead of older and wiser. There was a time you could dance the night away, not a bother to you….these days you can’t do a 2 mile walk without requiring a chiropractor.

Ah yes, this getting old lark is a hard one to figure out…..but isn’t it a privilege denied to many….and while we may have to grow old, we certainly don’t have to grow up now do we????